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I wanted to share some of the best information I’ve come across in my own journey and recovery from CPTSD & PTSD. I was in denial for so many years and it only robbed me of the best life I could’ve been living. Surviving with complex PTSD is entirely draining, mentally, physically and emotionally exhausting. I was always so quick to see other people’s issues or faults but never willing to look at my own.

It was too painful to go digging in my past and face all the stuff I’d spent my whole life running, hiding and trying to free myself from. I pretended like I was fine and in order to function in life with all the things and people around me constantly triggering my wounds, I adopted some really terrible coping mechanisms. 

I became a highly productive person, I never stopped or stayed still, I over loaded myself with tasks and made my calendar so full that I’d eventually burn out and have to go into hiding to recoup. This cycle of go go go go until the engine catches fire 🔥 and then hide away while it gets repaired was one of the hardest things I’ve had to overcome. It involved setting boundaries and learning to say NO.. who knew two letters would wreak such havoc on so many of us.

I had to reframe my perceptions of myself and my world, the people around me and the roles they played. I had to own up to the ways I was assigning negative meaning to myself, my partner, and all the rest of my life. I was wired for threat, for fight, for survival. That’s part of CPTSD & PTSD, you get stuck on that survival loop and can’t see the forest through the trees. I believed that everyone would inevitably always hurt me or abandon me so I created narratives to back this up. Not knowing this was all driven by my past, and I was deeply wounded and that those wounds were ultimately still wide open and preventing me from living a full, happy and healthy life. 

So if this resonates with you, take time to slow down, sit with yourself, sit with your body, your thoughts, and allow yourself to feel the pain and emotions of your past. The only way out is through, and no one can do the work but YOU! Heal the wounds of your past so you can go from surviving to a life of THRIVING!